很喜歡G每次都說six wonderful days, wonderful Dhamma！好像我們是世界上最幸運的人 like we are the most lucky person! 如果一切運作當然就是了If it works we are.
Still woke up at 1.20,2.30,3.45am something it seems like always wake up early during vipa.
如果我們能夠真正生活在moment，而moment to moment一切都在變化，那麼就應該沒有craving和aversion， 沒有clinging，拿吃東西來說來說很應景，哈，這是個實情。短暫的快樂非常不持續，每天吃飯就是10分鐘，雖然想延長，但人生更多的時間是瑜伽，冥想和其它事！
我很少有do nothing時候，幾乎沒有，昨天就是5-6一小時，剛要看書，因爲bell響下去是snack bell，就在樓下椅子躺下來看茂密的樹枝，遮蓋重重，有一種mini瓜果（後來媽發給我她的海南照片竟然知道這個叫蓮霧，很營養，很多微量元素）平時竟然沒有留意到，棕櫚樹映襯在後方天際，基本藍天，美麗平靜難得，就這樣45分鐘飛速流逝。
大廳裏至少100多人，非常安靜，除了幾個一直咳嗽和怪聲，打嗝反胃的，我已經學會接受，說不定她們身體不好；但一切井然有序，中心裏人住的密度很高但感受還不多；經營vipa是個學問，絕對不是我的夢想，我的理想是如何改造和利用好wonderful dhamma，幫助更多人。
頭腦想法Mental最重要，vipa含義是觀察observe，observe而沒有偏見，多麼不容易，雖然此次感受提高很多，但感受和心智sensation，mind不夠sharp，看來頭腦還是不犀利brain sharp is not enough.
Enjoy!
12.30
今天第一次午餐咀嚼24次，所以多了5分鐘12.26開始瑜伽，之前都是12.21pm，結束竟然時間一樣；早餐後瑜伽是6.50到7.30am。
關於sensation，說是一切都在變化，但我的sensation基本很麻木，靠呼吸帶動，所以每次感覺發熱身體都是一樣的啊，G說感受chnage，哪裏有change；也許可以理解爲每一刻都是變化，都不一樣，但感官而言區別不大，還是mind不夠sharp。
今天都是head to feet，上到下，沒有花樣，我感覺不錯，尤其是珍惜這個難得時刻，過了本週可要工作了，其實工作我也ok，就是受不了暴飲暴食。vipa是去除所有deep habit pattern in mind對於我來說去除了喝酒，雖然有社交缺失但不是啥大不了的代價。
今天想到X和S，其實感官都是一想到直接感覺不舒服，我的第六感還是強的，說的是平時。
昨夜夢到Hang，介紹他給一個女士，結果女士聽說我在DSM工作想要approach他們，我第一反應就是還有誰corporate strategy我認識，馬上提醒自己沒有必要幫忙，就是做好人的潛意識subconscious，其實是一種不自信，希望被人喜歡。
慢慢的修行是正事，工作是檢驗修行的工具，也會想到很多次，但都ok，vipa prepare準備好我接受一切後果，盡力做對的事。
其實浮現的很多高中，過去事情，我發現自己痛點不多，雖然說過快樂不多，總是在追尋什麼，但也沒啥致命痛苦的，都想得挺通的。
在這裏反覆反覆冥想，爲了去除業力和痛苦緣由get rid of karmas and suffering cause, 但確實做多了也不合適，目前認爲自己糾正一些錯誤，每年一次就ok，平時堅持，可以我堅持了幾個月，爲啥也沒sensation更多呢，要問一下P。
每次cell結束倒立很爽，還有就是喚醒能量，這兩個對我很有幫助。
想到團隊很多，現在團隊構成很不錯，這不挺享受的嗎！
4.43pm
漸入佳境，甚至計劃12月份是否去sri lanka或不丹內觀，然後想到今年可能變化多多，不過不應該影響我該做的事情：內觀。
5.05pm
很分心，感受和思路同時進行，還是頭腦不夠犀利，需要老師幫助。A lot of distractions,since sensation and thought seem not in conflict,which I am sure it is not good to sharpen the Brain,need ask teacher.
新的一面開啓Anyhow today it is like some things opening up in the thought of business,why not going with Weikang to be public together;or I should be towards a professor like Winter,it seems both ways are possible.
下午比上午挑戰，上午很忙綠，每個事情back to back，下午就是cell可以有意思一些，一個小時不動冥想也可以接受。Afternoon is tough one since morning u got a lot of things to expect: breakfast,lunch even both are 10 minutes,then ashtanga 1 and 2,busy. But afternoon is hard,today it is not bad with two parts in cell and one hour without movement is durable.
I think some 惡勢力在擡頭，我已經以拔幹不淨的思維爲基礎，突然很多工作上需要做的事情出現，其實應該慢慢淡忘啊；人事，出路等等。原來我並不是要做J而是winter！
身體基本恢復到ok狀態，沒啥祕訣就是不吃啊，過午不食這有多難，在這裏一點不難，回到上海很難。中午土豆泥還有白菜和豆腐皮，都不錯，這裏伙食確實比印度好。
會想到工作中面臨很多事，就是心態很平和，對啥都沒有很大期望值，實現很好，不實現也不失望，所以說craving如果是fame更大影響，這毛病好像被治的差不多了，愛嗎，原來是這個循環！這是我最大craving，還不是花生！
8.15
this is most important time for learning: misery-sensation-craving/clinging-6 senses-mind and matter- consciousness - sankaras
If we can get sensation equanimous we can cut the roof of sankaras which means misery
I am miserable all the time, repeating the same mistake in life no matter wanting, craving and eating; do I want to go back to the same life and same pattern and same habit, no.
Goenkaji is so lovely and I just want to hug him,when I see his face and body(normally I do not like fat people)just like a buddha and first night I dreamed about him and now I just love him,he makes me feel peaceful this is so called real guru,not excepting u only with his charisma like S
This is the moment,this is the chest,this is the feeling,this is me exciting in this world,that is how I felt during the past one hour sitting.
Nun is picking up fruits,girl is asking for banana,they are real hungry I am not.
Looking at the trees during the break time,I see squirrel looking at me,so small comparing with New York,how is their life like? Is it luckier be in the center of Vipa. I see eagle and many birds singing,this is the best part of the surroundings. I think I like this center even better,although my room is not that great,but I manage the routine well and now it is becoming nicer.
I should not expect this 5 days pass sooner,that is the same misery right,I look forward to its coming,count down on it then when I am in it I want it over sooner,how miserable is this,this is my life,admit it and it is not that great. I try to see it positively but it is not. I am in this cycle of continuing searching,when Patrick said so I was not that pleased but it made me think;now I now he is right,I am constantly searching for something I do not have.
I should get this book or video 4,5,which are so good. Tks Goenkaji,I am blessed here to hear this finally I got the logic!!!
以上是晚上回來性情所致即興發揮，就留它原來面目吧，相逢有緣人！
今天一大早反覆聽一行禪師“佛陀傳”一段話：降伏慾念，修行觀想死屍，降伏貪慾，修行無常；降伏散落，修行觀想氣息的呼吸，降伏嗔怒，修行慈悲！這個每天小事情做起很有效啊，但某一個慾望升起，就想到即使滿足也是短暫，但後果是長期的，所以需要管理慾望，從每一天小事做起！